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It's not that the pun below is world-class, or anything -- what I like about it is that I came up with it *while dreaming*, and was amused with myself before I woke up. Not too bad for REM sleep...

In my dream, Albus Dumbledore was producing an enormous batch of tea for some potion or another, using several teapots bigger than my head. I strung some tubing from one pot to the next, fussily explaining to Dumbledore that the angle of the tube was critical, and that he "shouldn't steep it too much".
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So, I nearly blinded myself today. Later, I called a Pizza Hut six hundred miles away and ordered a large mushroom stuffed-crust.

Like this... )
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I attended the euthanization of one of my mother's cats on Monday (I'll post a plaque later). This is the third teenaged critter she's had put down in as many years, and it led to the following conversation with my wife, [livejournal.com profile] rachalvs:

Her: This cat doesn't appear to be in obvious pain. Why is she having it put to sleep again?

Me: Well, for every animal my mom sacrifices, she gets to live another couple of years.

Her: You're horrible!

Me: I told you she had a boxer dog named Susie when she was a kid, right? And we had another when I was a teenager. The one out in the living room is Susie Seventeen.

Her: ...

Me: And I'm Rick Five.

(For the record, I relayed this conversation to my mom later. She was also amused, or at least wryly appreciative that this is how I deal with things).
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I'm watching the place of a friend of mine this week while she's out of town. Her usual kennel went out of business when she wasn't looking, and since her dogs already know me I was next in line.

The older dog, C.J., recently had surgery, and I must give her two stinky pills morning and night. Rather than using meat as a delivery system, I'm feeding them to her in globs of peanut butter, which she seems to like.

The other dog, Amber, weighs sixty pounds -- and doesn't bark when she's excited, but bounces up and down on all fours, putting me in mind of a giddy Herman Munster. She always wants to know what I'm up to as I give C.J. her pills, so I've taken to feeding Amber some extra peanut butter when I'm finished. Amber is very slow and careful when taking it from my fingers; from the look on her face she's obviously having some sort of moral dilemma about eating what she's offered while not biting the finger I've stuck in her mouth.

She is becoming less ginger about it lately, which means she's either learning a good thing (that I can be trusted), or a bad thing (that humans are composed entirely of peanut butter). Time will tell.
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1. What's on your bedside table?
Read more... )
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I got back recently from the wedding of Reed Byers (aka Unbeliever), who used to post in alt.callahans a few years back, and who I lived with for a few years before that.

Here follows the saga:

Read more... )

Overall, a good time - as I told Reed, it was pleasant to only be a witness at someone else's chaos.

Some of my (low-quality, taken with a disposable camera) pictures are available here:

Higher quality versions are available courtesy of the bride, here:
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I'm currently renting crash space from a lady who is a good friend of the family. Last night, she was on the phone with my mom in Idaho, and I *almost* got her to use harsh language -- this would have been a major coup, but the near-miss was almost as good.

Like this:

Landlady: "...so I was talking to my sister, and she was trying to b--"

(Landlady, aside to me: "What's a nicer way to say 'bitch me out'?" )

Me: "Chewed your ass."

Landlady: "...chew my, uh, butt, so now I'm annoyed at her -- " (shooting dirty looks at me while I cackle).

September 2016



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