rickvs

Imagine if, when you were little, you had to obey a bunch of extra rules that didn’t make sense to you, and if you didn’t, you’d be hurt. You’d also be hurt, and called weird, all the time, for things that seemed natural to you, or that you couldn’t avoid. Eventually, you’d learn to avoid the “weird” looks and behaviors when you’re with people – with effort. Better to expend the effort than to keep getting punished!

You can imagine a person who grew up with such abuse; you’d probably imagine they’d flinch away from social contact, because it takes effort just to look normal, and they don’t want to be hurt again, when they slip. In a perfect world, such a person learns to stop flinching away, because decent grown-ups don’t mind a bit of weirdness in look or behavior, though they might want to understand “when you’re ready and willing, why the weirdness? Only if you don’t mind my asking!” They would stop being hurt, you see? Eventually, their fears would fade, and maybe they’d heal from the effects of the early abuse.
( this is long-ish. )
And that means, the only hope for my life is to try to be a weirdo that people do understand. So my next step is to try to sow some understanding.