Dawg

My landlady's pet german shepherd -- the one whose portrait is tattooed on her bicep -- has been wearing a big plastic cone on her head these last couple of weeks. The dog, named Girlfriend, had a cyst removed from her leg, and they don't want her to tear out the stitches. In the meanwhile, Girlfriend is putting on quite a show. The cone gives her tunnel vision, so when she's not bumping into furniture, she's bobbing it from side to side as she scans her surroundings. When the neighborhood kids ask what that thing's for, I get to tell them she's hard of hearing, and when she tries to sniff the grass, Girlfriend looks like an industrial vacuum cleaner doing a vaudeville face plant.

Show's over on Saturday when the stitches come out. I'm almost disappointed.